It’s been awhile, I’m sorry, I just tend to write here when I need to vent or just feel like talking.
I find myself irritated sometimes with all of this, with this thing that I can’t ever change but so so badly wish I could sometimes, right now I think it’s harder for me to deal with because it’s so hot in the UK [for once] and I’m not coping with it very well, as expected. Now I’m a summer baby, so I’m all for the sun etc, but it just SUCKS when you can’t actually handle it and it’s just like, you can’t breathe properly, you get too hot, it feels like you could faint because your blood pressure isn’t right, and it’s so FRUSTRATING to me.
This whole thing is frustrating, really, I mean right now I feel sick, and like there’s a slight pressure on my chest, and all I can do is sit here and hope it’ll ease because I know it’s the heart condition and I’m used to this, but I’m 19 and I really don’t want to be used to it, I want it gone, I don’t want too feel this sickness, this chest pressure, this anxiety that comes with it because I’m scared it could turn into something worse.
I just, it’s frustrating, it’s irritating, for sure, it really is, but I have learnt to see myself through these bad times because if i didn’t I don’t really know what I’d do